


it's called poker you dimwit!

by orphan_account



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I actually tried, fat fucking L, rei actually plays poker for a chocolate bar, ritsu suffers kinda, sorta a crackfic, the twins are evil masterminds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: the twins + ritsu force rei to play poker for a chocolate bar. smart
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	it's called poker you dimwit!

**Author's Note:**

> listen to caravan palace's lay down and you will understand

" _Aniki,_ it's called poker, you dimwit!"

Yuuta's stuck with an idiot for an older brother, which he knew already, he just wants Hinata to realize that gambling and poker aren't entirely the same thing, and it seems that once again, he doesn't understand. Hinata, on the other hand, is a complete airhead. Dimwit brother. Yuuta's ideal 'I promise I don't know him, he just followed me here, like a creep' person he wishes that wasn't his brother. Of course, he can't pretend Hinata Aoi isn't his twin brother. They're identical for god's sake. 

Hinata opens his mouth and Yuuta's already prepared for the 'they're the same thing!! I'm not as stupid as you think!!' lecture because apparently just because Hinata was born 15.65 seconds earlier (exactly, Yuuta's already done the math.), that immediately gives him the 'I'm the older brother and I will tell you what is wrong and right!' pass. Yuuta doesn't need to hear it again it's the 5th time in the last 10 minutes that Hinata had said the same thing and he's tired of it alread-

"Gambling and poker are the same thing!" Hinata seems amused by the fact that Yuuta basically has puffs of smoke coming out of his ears. He also thinks Yuuta forgot that a half-sumberged-in-blankets-sleepy-boy-idol, Ritsu Sakuma, was in their room, paying no attention to them whatsoever and mindlessly tapping on his phone. Hinata glances at Ritsu, followed by Yuuta, who jumps a bit when Ritsu returns his glance. He emerges through the pile of what looks like 25 fuzzy blankets piled on-top of him, and groans a bit. Ritsu mumbles what sound like "I forgot I was in here..", and honestly, neither of the twins are surprised. Sakuma-senpai's younger brother was a lazy piece of sh-

"I forgot you were in here too." Hinata's thoughts are interrupted by Yuuta's grumbling. Yuuta and Hinata turn back to eachother, and Yuuta gives Hinata a sharp glare, which is followed by a nervous laugh from the older twin. "This isn't over, Aniki." Yuuta huffs and turns back to Ritsu who gives the twins a very confused, toothy grin that makes Yuuta afraid that Ritsu's going to chew on him like a dog with rubber ducky, though he thinks Ritsu acts more like a cat then a dog.

"Hey Ritsu-senpai!"

"No."

Hinata pouts, Ritsu chuckles. "Fine, Fiiinnneee~. What do you need?" he shuffles a bit, and stands up, probably waiting until Hinata finishes his humming, which most likely means, the dimwit has completely forgotten what he was going to say. Fantastic. "Aniki! Spit it out already!" Yuuta's fed up with him, if he asks if poker is gambling one more time, he's gonna snap. Hinata seems to be lost in his own fake thought and incessant 'hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'-ing, and when he finally stops, Ritsu and Yuuta share a glance before looking back at Hinata. 

"Would Sakuma-senpai bet someone for a chocolate bar?" Hinata looks dead serious, but Ritsu is basically on the floor laughing. He notices that Hinata's serious and is really asking something as idiotic as that, and in-between a back crack and catching his breath, Ritsu responds with "Anija is stupid, so probably." he shrugs, and Hinata has a genius plan.

30 minutes after discussing his genius plan, Hinata's dragging Yuuta and Ritsu out to force Rei to play poker for a chocolate bar. Despite Hinata's perfectly constructed plan, one thing blocks his path. Ensemble Square's lobby is echoing with multiple 'Kanata-chin.' and 'Nazuna..~'s, all one after the other.

this is going perfectly GREAT JOB HINATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Kanata-chin."

"Nazuna..~"

Hinata is finding it incredibly difficult to drag two people to a lobby while a fish man and a tiny blonde bunny dude stare at eachother and say eachother's names for like an hour. One thing that does work out in Hinata's favor though, is that Rei is in the lobby. One thing less. Hinata peaks out from behind the wall and goes over the plan with Yuuta and Ritsu one more time. 

"Ritsu-senpai, remember what you need to ask. He won't say no to you." 

"I hate this idea, but if i get free chocolate, then i'm up for it~"

"Aniki, where are you setting up the poker table?"

"yes. NOW GO!"

He pushes them both out and runs before Yuuta can scream at him. Genius. Now, to find the poker table.

Ritsu reminds himself that he'll get chocolate, before saluting Yuuta and yelling "Aniiiiiiiiiiiijaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..~", to which Rei immediately perks up, and practically screams "my darling Ritsu!" to which Ritsu obviously groans. He curses Hinata for being so smart, yet an idiot at the same time, as he grudgingly walks over to Rei. Hinata takes this as a complete win.

Ritsu explains in mostly dramatized pain that he is craving chocolate and is way too lazy to get it himself, and Rei fake cries over the fact that Ritsu came to him to get him chocolate, while Yuuta scouts someone who is worthy of playing against Rei in poker for a chocolate bar.

That is, until he spots Madara Mikejima, who honestly he just drags to the Ensquare lobby with no other words said. Kanata glares at him on their way by, which gets a nervous chuckle out of Madara.

Thank god Aniki actually set up a poker table. Yuuta sighs a bit. Madara looks at Rei, Rei looks at Madara, and Ritsu is smug.

'Nice choice', is what Yuuta picks up from reading Ritsu's lips. He hopes he's right, but by the way that Ritsu's smiling, he thinks he can take that as a 'good job Yuuta' moment.

Hinata appears out of nowhere, probably just for scaring Yuuta points, but he explains what's happening and Rei seems amused. Good job!!!!!!!!!!! NOW PLAY POKER.

Nothing is interrupting the fact that they are about to start playing poker. Even Hiiro Amagi cannot stop the poker. poker poker poker poker poker poker.

Hinata's genius goes to work, despite Yuuta's multiple 'Aniki don't you dare'-s, he still does it. Running up to Hiiro at full speed and yelling "HEY IS POKER GAMBLING?!" followed by a "ANIKI I SWEAR TO GOD!" and a facepalm. 

Hiiro chuckles a bit, but nothing too intense compared to him attempting to laugh like Rinne. "That's one way to greet someone! As for the whole is poker gambling thing, I'd s-" he was cut off by the sound of a squeak, followed by a very flustered Nazuna noise, everyone, but Madara and Rei, who are both currently into their game of poker, look over at Kanata and Nazuna, and Kanata is literally holding Nazuna. Hinata declares this a perfect addition to the plan. Now back to the situation.

Hinata, turns back to Hiiro eagerly, but is cut off by Yuuta, who ruins the fun completely with his "Aniki, stop, it's stupid. Sakuma-senpai isn't Rinne-san.", to which Ritsu chines in with a giggle. "I wish he was~"

Hiiro sighs. "No,"

"No you don't."

Rei screeches, which indicates he lost. fat fucking L. 

Madara still gives Ritsu the chocolate bar, to Ritsu's delight.

With a mouthful of chocolate, Ritsu mumbles "I'm never letting you guys make me do something again."

Hinata shrugs and they both agree to never do what they just did ever again. Rei is bad at poker. Good mental note.

**Author's Note:**

> why did i do this to myself  
> twt - w3bmaya   
> ig - s9ras   
> i have no friends. or a soul.


End file.
